Diving In
Bree Overly, CLCC
“Don’t be angry!” That’s the statement that runs through my mind when I think back to several years ago when I didn’t understand my daughter and didn’t know how to be there for her. That is what I said to her in those moments when her default reactions were to scowl, grumble, or be angrily defensive. There is some of that in her today, too. Yet, I know better who she is, why she’s giving me a spiky response, and how to show up for her emotionally. Compared to the “don’t-be-angry” days, I have become a parent with skills and confidence.
These skills and confidence didn’t just come with time and not giving up, and I am not confident every moment of parenting. I’m still in a fully human, day-by-day, twice-exceptional parenting experience, which is no joke. So, I’m speaking from a place on the journey, a much better place than where I started.
How I got here, to a place of skills and confidence and wanting to pay it forward as a parent coach, has been a process of engaging in therapy, life and parent coaching, and parent group meetings. I pursued these avenues for understanding while I advocated for my daughter and collaborated with the allies we found along the way: school counselors, therapist, psychiatrist, teachers. I also soaked up knowledge and skills through podcasts, books, and some formal learning opportunities, one of which was a life coach training and certification program.
This all sounds very intense, like choosing to dive into the deep end of the ocean. It has been intense, and it has been well worth it, because my experience of parenting is more satisfying. I know how and where to ask for help. My whole life makes more sense. The connection with my daughter has clear lines. We’re on the right track.
This journey is for all of us. Our children are asking us to go on it, because they need guides to help them on their own journey. You are in the best position to do that, when you choose to dive in.
I continue to engage in this process, because my daughter’s twice-exceptionality, her neurodivergence, her brilliance and potential don’t end, just as parenting never ends. She is 13 and we are far from her launch, and even then, the parenting won’t end. Forever changing and developing, this parenting journey gives us opportunities for growth, learning, and connection all the days, every year.